In today’s fast-paced, commercialized world, every product seems to be mass-manufactured. So how do you convey the special and unique aspects of your love to a partner by giving them something that has hundreds if not thousands or even millions of identical clones?
The answer’s simple: You give them a homemade gift.
It’s not exactly a new concept. Before online shopping, before malls, before department stores, gifts kind of had to be handmade — and making something yourself might be easier than finding just the right artisan to make something for you.
But in the 21st century, the DIY gift can feel a little out there or — in some people’s eyes — even cheap. Plus, if it falls flat for some reason, it’ll sting that much more than something you just purchased.
Essentially, homemade gifts are high-risk, high-reward. They can be incredible memorable romantic gestures that your partner brags about to other people for years — or they can flop so badly that they lead to a huge fight, maybe even a breakup.
Of course, they’re more likely to land somewhere in the middle. But how can you harness the potential romantic power of a DIY gift? And when is the right time to give one versus just buying something?
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Whether your partner’s birthday is coming up, you’re celebrating an anniversary, or you want to give them something “just because,” here are some pro tips for making a gift that’s sure to be a slam dunk.
There are lots of advantages to going the DIY route with gifts. Here are just a few, according to Steffo Shambo, a dating and relationship expert.
Still, there are some drawbacks to DIY gifts to consider as well. Here are a few to be mindful of, says Shambo.
Something to keep in mind: If your DIY gift doesn’t go over well, that can actually be valuable information, says Daria Chase, a licensed psychologist specializing in couples and relationships.
“It’s also a great way to get to know someone at the beginning of a relationship, as it can serve as a way to get to know someone, their values and if they are aligned with yours. If the person does not have an appreciation for this kind of gesture and prioritizes monetary value over emotional value, it is important to know of this early on in the relationship to get it over with sooner rather than later.”
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Before you opt for a DIY gift, experts advise taking the occasion — as well as how long you and your partner have been together — into account.
According to Lisa Mirza Grotts, a certified etiquette professional, it’s a lot harder to take a DIY approach to gifting at the onset of a relationship.
“At this point, there are not many shared memories — it’s too personal and too soon,” she explains.
Shambo agrees that DIY gifts often work better once you know your partner well.
“You can customize them based on their favorite hobbies and interests — like painting them a portrait of their beloved pet or making their go-to baked treat,” he says.
That’s not to say you can’t give a DIY gift early in the relationship, but Shambo recommends keeping them simple — like making a playlist of songs that remind you of them, cooking their favorite meal, or writing a thoughtful card.
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“Save more elaborate DIY gifts for later once you really know their style and tastes,” he tells AskMen.
Shambo notes that a DIY gift is also ideal for partners who are a bit tricker to buy for. If they have a tendency to go ahead and order whatever they need, a handmade gift presents the perfect solution because it’s something money can’t buy.
“DIY gifts are also suitable for partners who have unique niche hobbies that stores don’t cater to,” adds Shambo.
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