You’ve seen that couple before. Heck, may have been that couple at some point.
They can’t keep their hands off each other, they’re oozing lust and laughter, and it almost seems as if there’s a magnetic-like pull between them.
We’re talking about new relationship energy (NRE) — which, as the name of the term implies, tends to peak in those early months of dating. It’s impossible to miss, and for some, it’s so intoxicating that they’ll hop from relationship to relationship just trying to re-capture those butterflies.
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So, how long does new relationship energy last for? What are the pros — and cons? And is it possible to extend that energy further into your relationship? Here’s what the experts have to say.
According to Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship expert at Hily, NRE is the energy that’s cultivated when excitement and curiosity are at an all-time high — when every conversation and every experience still feels new.
“This phase is typically marked by strong feelings of attraction, curiosity, and optimism — it’s when everything about the other person feels fresh, fascinating, and full of possibility,” says Ross Kellogg, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You might find yourself thinking about your new partner constantly, and feel energized just by being near them.”
According to Kellogg, not only is NRE totally natural, but it actually serves a purpose when dating someone new.
“It often acts as emotional ‘glue,’ helping two people build closeness,” he explains. “This state is sometimes driven by a cocktail of brain chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which enhance pleasure, bonding, and focus.”
Wondering where this term came from?
Wendy Walsh, a clinical psychologist and dating expert with DatingAdvice.com, says psychologist Dorothy Tennov originally explored this concept in the 1970s.
Tennov called this state of intense infatuation “limerence.”
Then, in the 1980s, the term “new relationship energy” emerged out of the poly community — more specifically, it was coined by someone named Zhanai Stewart, whose online posts described a “rush of escalating emotional connection” and “hot juiciness of a growing sexual attraction” in his polyamorous relationships.
It’s important to acknowledge that every relationship is unique — so, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about when NRE will expire.
That said, Isabelle Morley, a clinical psychologist and couple’s therapist, says it typically lasts between six months and two years — and other experts tend to agree. But as thrilling as NRE can be, it’s actually a good thing that it doesn’t last forever.
“Your body simply can’t sustain that level of hormone production and energy expenditure in the long term,” Morley explains. “Plus, you get used to the other person and your attachment becomes more stable and secure, leading to less of the frenzied eagerness for closeness that characterized the start of your relationship.”
According to Brianna Halasa, LMHC, a licensed therapist, NRE tends to be strongest in the first few months, gradually fading as the relationship stabilizes and you and your partner develop more realistic views of each other.
But keep in mind that how long it lasts can depend on a number of factors.
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“For example, it may vary based on emotional intensity, frequency of interaction, life circumstances, and even individual attachment styles,” explains Kellogg.
“NRE and the ‘honeymoon period’ are often used interchangeably, but they’re not identical,” explains Halasa. “The honeymoon period refers more broadly to the early phase of a relationship where conflict is minimal and partners tend to be on their best behavior. NRE is specifically about the emotional and neurochemical rush that occurs.”
In other words, whereas the honeymoon period refers solely to the romantic experience of new love, NRE encompasses all the physiological and psychological experiences.
“Also, NRE is a term often used in polyamorous or non-monogamous communities to describe the energy in any new relationship — while the ‘honeymoon period’ traditionally refers to the early months of a marriage or monogamous partnership,” adds Kellogg. “They usually overlap, but NRE is more about internal feelings, while the honeymoon period also encompasses external dynamics like fewer arguments and idealized perceptions.”
There are definitely both perks and pitfalls to NRE. Here are some to consider, according to experts:
It’s important to acknowledge that NRE will eventually fade — and that’s OK, experts say. Not only is this shift normal, but it’s actually healthy — and comes with some benefits.
“Human relationships are dynamic, and the early stage of infatuation isn’t meant to last forever,” Kellogg tells AskMen. “Our nervous systems simply can’t sustain the constant emotional high of NRE indefinitely, and that’s not a flaw — it’s biology’s way of making room for a deeper, more resilient form of love.”
“When NRE fades, what often follows is a shift from passion to partnership,” he notes. “You begin to see your partner more clearly. If the relationship is rooted in respect, care, and shared values, this next phase can be even more rewarding, offering a sense of stability, emotional security, and enduring companionship.”In other words, Kellogg says, the fading of NRE isn’t the end of the magic — it’s the beginning of something even deeper, more meaningful, and more sustainable.
“Think of it like moving from the thrill of lighting a match to the steady warmth of a campfire,” he explains.
And when those rose-colored glasses do come off, Halasa says you’ll be able to really see whether you and your partner are truly compatible.
All that said, experts agree you can still nurture feelings that emulate NRE and prolong the excitement by pursuing new experiences together, surprising each other, and making concerted efforts to build physical and emotional intimacy.
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“Stay curious,” says Kellogg. “Continue asking questions, learning about your partner, and showing genuine interest. Go on new adventures together, try new hobbies, travel, or even just switch up your date nights.”
“Novelty stimulates the brain in similar ways to early relationship experiences,” Kellogg adds. Practice gratitude and appreciation by regularly expressing what you value about each other. Make it a point to be fully present when you’re together, setting aside distractions, and truly listening. And cultivate vulnerability by sharing thoughts, feelings, and fears as openly as you did in the early days.”
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