Tired of swiping? You’re not alone: 78% of users report dating app burnout, and daters spend about 51 minutes a day on apps, according to a Forbes Health Survey. But before giving up altogether, it’s worth refreshing your profile to make the most of your time.
“If you’re endlessly swiping and receiving hardly any matches, it’s time to update your profile. A lack of matches indicates that you need better photos or better writing in order to attract matches,” says matchmaker Dara Rahill.
If you feel turned off about the idea of being strategic or “selling” yourself, know that the right approach can help you get more aligned matches and increase your chances of finding genuine connection. It’s about conveying who you truly are effectively, not pretending to be someone you’re not.
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Here are five steps to optimize your dating profile without feeling inauthentic.
“I wish all men knew that using great photos is key to optimizing their dating profile in 2025,” says professional online dating app profile photographer Christopher Todd. “Competition is fierce and the algorithm can hinder your experience, meaning you won’t be seen.”
Todd recommends using five to seven high-quality photos. Don’t know where to start? They should reflect your real life and show both your appearance and lifestyle, says Rahill. “Photos of you traveling, at an event, enjoying a hobby or simply looking relaxed and confident will encourage women to engage in conversations.”
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“Only use current photos of yourself – no selfies (mirror shots, gym selfies, etc.), no group shots,” adds Todd, who also suggests including one full-length photo. Keep in mind that your first photo is the most important one to grab attention in a sea of profiles. Todd suggests picking a shot where you’re smiling and showing your teeth. Stay away from hats, sunglasses and poorly lit or blurry pics.
There’s limited space to share information about yourself, so it’s important to be intentional about what you include. Here are some tips to write an online dating profile without feeling disingenuous:
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Sharing details that reflect your interests and values gives potential matches a glimpse into the deeper, more intricate aspects of your personality and starts good conversations.
For example, instead of saying, “I like art” and leaving it at that, Todd suggests going with something more specific, such as “I’m always on the lookout for the next art piece for my collection. My favorite one, which is currently hanging on my wall, is from a local art exhibit.”
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Rahill recommends saving at least one line to give insight into your values: “You can communicate your character without bragging or coming off as phony. For example, instead of saying, ‘I’m intellectually curious,’ you can say ‘If a topic sparks my interest, I’m the person who goes down the rabbit hole to learn more.’”
If you’re using an app with prompts, like Hinge, don’t skip them. It’s an extra opportunity to be thoughtful and showcase who you are. “Use the prompts to share what you love about your life – big or small! This helps matches get to know you and picture what a life could look like with you,” says Rahill.
“Avoid a low-effort profile. Pretending that you don’t care is an instant turn-off. So many profiles say ‘I’m terrible at this’ or ‘If you want to know, just ask.’ Put in the effort to show that you’re there for a reason.”
Why not ask the people who know you best whether your profile reflects your personality and vibe? “Your friends know you best, they will be able to point out positive attributes you might not think of. They can offer advice on which photo looks best or outfit advice. You will have a leg up on the competition, since most people don’t ask for profile reviews,” says Todd.
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It’s impossible to fully encapsulate the complexity of a person on a dating profile. And people do form judgments quickly online. But by embracing the advice above, you can feel confident that your dating profile reflects your genuine self while making a good virtual impression.
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