You start your day by meeting a cute fellow runner for a jog followed by coffee. Later, you grab lunch with a dating app match near work. You also have drinks at 6 p.m. with a promising connection, which you’ve conveniently scheduled right before heading to a friend’s house in the area.
This is stack dating in action. The idea is to schedule back-to-back dates, often on the same day or intertwined with errands, to maximize efficiency and take the pressure off dating.
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“Stack dating offers faster feedback and less emotional investment per date,” says psychotherapist Lisa Chen.
But is stacking dates the key to finding love or yet another recipe for dating burnout? Here’s what you need to know about the dating trend, what experts have to say about it and whether it’s the right approach for you.
Stack dating, sometimes called “errand dating,” is about treating dating like any other task on your to-do list. Instead of dedicating several hours to an elaborate date and feeling all the anticipation that comes with it, you squeeze several quick dates into your existing schedule without overthinking it.
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Some singles choose to combine dates and errands, like going to IKEA or walking the dog, while others book short dates during pockets of free time. There are even people who go on multiple dates in a row in the same evening to be more efficient.
It’s not the most romantic premise, but that’s sort of the point. You can think of stack dating like “a series of back-to-back meetings, but instead of different business conversations, you’re trading awkward chatter and cocktails,” says Brie Temple, chief matchmaker at Tawkify.
Before booking five dates in a row, consider the benefits and downsides of stack dating. While some daters might thrive embracing the approach, others may feel numb or experience emotional exhaustion.
On the fence about stack dating? According to dating coach Monica Wadwa, it might be the right approach for you if you tend to fall in love fast and hard: “If you are someone with an anxious attachment style who gets obsessed with dates quickly, it can be a strategy to alleviate some of that hyper-focus on one particular person.”
That said, Temple warns that stack dating can be problematic for empathetic people. If you empathize deeply, it might leave you feeling exhausted from social interaction and less able to connect with your dates.
To successfully give stack dating a shot, always prioritize presence more than volume, suggests Chen. Take at least 30 minutes between dates and switch up your environment — it will help you reset and slow down even if the day is flying by, which gives chemistry a chance to blossom.
Also, resist the urge to compare dates in the moment, as it can be distracting and prevent you from giving each person a fair chance.
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Finally, do what you need to do to remember names and interesting facts about each person you meet. Take notes after a date if you have to.
“It’s a matter of basic respect and a massive help in creating a connection,” notes Temple.
The point of stack dating isn’t to go on one date after the next mindlessly, but to be present during each interaction. If you can stay intentional and open, it might help you meet the right one faster than using more conventional approaches.
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